The GeeksverseIncomplete Plots #2 – Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

Incomplete Plots #2 – Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
Published on Monday, October 25, 2010 by

So this is one I’ve thought about for awhile, but generally try to forget about all the huge gaps and illogical paths of the plot. I actually enjoy AotC the most of the 3 prequels, but it’s also a movie with a HUGE amount of plot gaps.

The plot (ignoring the Anakin/Padme love fest crap) is this:

An assassin, Zam Wessell, attempts to kill Padme. She is about to be captured by the Jedi and she is killed. They get a look at Jango Fett and he flies off. Zam was killed by a Kamino Dart. Using his keen detective skills, Obi Wan is able to figure out that it came from the planet Kamino and when he goes looking for the planet in the archives, it’s not there, just a void. Obi Wan goes to Kamino and finds a huge Clone Army being built for the Republic at the command of Sifo-Dyas (sp?), a Jedi Master. Except no one in the Republic has heard of this Clone Army. It also turns out that they are clones of Jango Fett, the person that killed Zam Wessell. When Obi Wan questions Jango, they fight and Jango escapes. Obi Wan tracks him to Geonsis (sp?) and gets captured. It turns out that Jango Fett is working for the Seperatists, the enemy of the Republic. Big fight, we all know what happens. Yoda arrives with the Clone Army and it sets the stage for Revenge of the Sith.

So what are the holes?

Let’s start shall we.. Strap in, it’s going to be a long one.

1 – Jango uses a Kamino Dart to kill Zam. Gee, let’s just point a big sign that says where you are. Now granted, this could have been part of Sidious’ big plan to lead the Jedi to Kamino so he could hand them an army. But no, that really doesn’t make sense with the rest of whats going on with Kamino. Why would a seasoned vet like Jango Fett make such an obvious mistake? It had to be to lead Obi Wan to Kamino.

BUT… WHY WAS KAMINO KEPT SECRET ANYWAYS?? What was the point? Why did they need to do something so obvious to lead Obi Wan to Kamino? Couldn’t Sifo-Dyas just come out and said “hey, by the way..”.

But then Sifo-Dyas was dead.

Now keep in mind that I’m going by just what was revealed in the movie, and not any of the EU, comics or other media. Just the movie itself, because thats what most people that watched it had to go off, just the movie.

2 – Kind of skipping forward a bit..

How come none of the Jedi Masters knew Sifo-Dyas had commissioned this army? Why would they just readily except it that this army was made for the Republic? Because the Kaminions said Sifo-Dyas said so? Here, have this big ol’ army to do with as you will. A guy that’s convientantly dead told us to make it for you.

Oh yeah, the only way they found out about this army was because of a failed assassination attempt on a Republic Senator.

What? Does that sound right? Out of all the billions of people in the Star Wars universe, and all the wisdom the Jedi Council possesses, none of them thought that didn’t sound just a little too convienant?

3 – Kamino is erased from the Jedi records.

Why? The Jedi don’t know about the clone army. Why would they need to erase the planet from the records? No one was going to go there anyways. There was no reason to.

And then they left a void. Seriously? Why not just replace the planet in the records with a giant arrow that says “go here”?

Again, it doesn’t make any sense. Why hide the planet? Shouldn’t the Jedi be suspcious of anything to do with that planet since it was deliberately erased from their archives?

4 – Why no investigation on who would tamper with the archives in the first place? Sifo-Dyas commissions this army that they don’t know about on a planet that is erased from their records. Wouldn’t they get a little suspicious of Sifo-Dyas’ motives at this point and anything that came because of it?

Meaning… Why would they accept the clone army?

5 – The clones are of Jango Fett. He’s wanted as an accessory in the assassination attempt.

Again.. He’s seen as a bad guy. Why would you accept an army cloned from this guy?

6 – Why do they assume Jango is bad? He killed the assassin that was trying to kill a Senator. Yes, his escaping makes him look suspcious, but that sets up the whole chain of events with Kamino and the Clones that no one with the wisdom of a Jedi should have so easily accepted.

HELLO!! WHY DIDN’T THE FORCE WARN THEM THAT IT WOULD BE A BAD IDEA TO USE THIS ARMY???

The signs are all there.

Wouldn’t it have made more sense for Jango to pretend to be working for the Senate and the Republic? He kills Zam ‘by accident’ in her pursuit so she can’t point the finger at him. He then leads the Republic to Kamino and the Army. He says he was hired by Sifo-Dyas before his death and he would know when the time was right to tell the Republic about the Clone Army.

Yeah, it’s not well thought out and has it’s own gaps, but it’s 1000x better then what we ended up getting.

7 – They get proof that Jango is working for the Seperatist and NO ONE STOPS TO WONDER WHY THE GUY THAT THE ARMY GOT CLONED FROM WAS WORKING FOR THEIR ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME!!!

No one stops to think that it’s too convienant? All the signs point to this being a set up. Where’s the vaunted Jedi wisdom when it’s needed?

8 – How convienant is it that when the Republic needs an army, one shows up? And what a random chain of events it is to find that army.

Mace Windu or Yoda doesn’t stand up and go “hey, what a minute..”.

Okay, Yoda would say “Minute, wait, we must.”

What about Ki Adi Mundi? He doesn’t say anything? He’s got a big ol’ pointed head, there must be more brain in there.

The whole thing is based on a chain of conveniance that has no foundation to begin with. Why was Kamino hidden? What purpose did that serve?

If anything, hiding Kamino should have made the Jedi suspcious and less likely to accept the army. So the whole convaluted plan of Sidious’ should have backfired on him in a big way.

Now don’t get me started on how bad the entire prequel story is…

Go to the Pryde’s forums and discuss this column.

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