The GeeksverseThe Kids Are Alright… Maybe..

The Kids Are Alright… Maybe..
Published on Friday, November 26, 2010 by

This is an idea for a column that I’ve had kicking around the the recent Marvel Solicitations kind of pushed it to the forefront of possible ideas.

The copy for Avengers Academy #9 reads:

As the fallout from Tigra’s shocking act last issue rocks the Academy, Finesse goes in search of the man who could be her father…the character readers have demanded since issue #1…Taskmaster!

So Finesse is about 16/17 or so. Taskmaster is how old? Let’s start by ignoring the fact that Taskmaster is not a mutant (especially as it’s reinforced in his own mini-series that’s out now) and could not pass his abilities on to an offspring. If she is his daughter, it would mean that he received his abilities 16/17+ years ago, long enough ago to have them before conceiving a child.

Has the Taskmaster really been operating that long in Marvel time?

This connection really made me just go “another one?” because I had already been asking the question about Marvel parents and kids because of the Secret Warriors and Young Allies.

In the Young Allies we are introduced to the Bastards of Evil. These are supposedly the offspring of super-villians and have the same abilities as their parents. We see the daughter of Electro, the son of the Radioactive Man, the son of Graviton, the son of Pyro and a couple of others. These kids are shown to be around 16-18 years old.

In Secret Warriors we are introduced to the Catepillars. These are the offspring of heroes and villians that Nick Fury has been watching for years. The only one whose parents are revealed is Stonewall and his father is the Absorbing Man, Crusher Creel. Stonewall has the abilty to alter his molecular form, like his father. This means that Stonewall was born after Creel got his powers. The Secret Warriors team are shown to be 16-21 (or so), except for Phobos who is 13 or so, but he’s the son of Ares and is a god himself so he’s immune from the problem.

Long winded way of getting to the problem, as I see it.

These kids CAN’T be the offspring of the heroes and villians. The heros and villians just aren’t that old and havne’t been around that long to have kids that are 16-18 and who have powers, which means being conceived after the hero/villian goe their abilities.

We’re supposed to believe that the Absorbing Man has been operating for 16 years in Marvel Time?

I know that comics, especially Marvel, run off their own kind of sense of time, where it never seems to advance in years. We know that time has advanced but because characters don’t age, what is years in real time ends up being only months in comic time.

Having these characters be offspring of known characters, and not traveling through time, causes the universes to be dated. So now you have to look back at the stories we’ve seen, knowing that the Absorbing Man has been operating for 16+ years, and start dating everything that has occured.

Does Marvel really want to do that?

In Young Allies the offspring end up not being the real kids, just genetically made that way. Electro even says in the story that there’s no way he could have a 16 year old daughter with electric powers because he hasn’t had them that long.

So the two series end up contradicting eachother. How can the Absorbing Man have a 16 year old kid but Electro can’t?

And this isn’t even adding the Young Avengers with Wiccan and Speed into it. They are the reincarnated souls of the Scarlet Witch and Vision’s children (which were just two pieces of the soul of the man that became Master Pandemonium, but thats neither here or there). Now I’m no expert on the topic, but isn’t a soul reincarnated at birth of the new body? So wouldn’t that mean that when the Witch’s children “died”, they were reincarnated at the time of Wiccan and Speed’s birth? Which would have made that event happen 16 or so years ago?

And the Witch’s kids were “killed” after Absorbing Man and Electro have been operating for awhile. So both could have kids that are 16+. But if the Witch’s kids were reincarnated at birth, then that means the event happened 16+ years ago in Marvel time.

Really? That would end up putting the heroes of the MU almost 40 years old. At the time of the kids “death” the heroes had been around for awhile, so if that was 16 years ago and the heroes were 18-20 at the time (and they were most likely older, mid to late 20s, but bear with me..) then that would make them 36+ now.

Really? Peter Parker is almost 40 years old?

See, this is what happens when you do something that attachs real time to the characters/events in comics. It just makes a big mess.

Go to the Pryde’s forums and share your thoughts on this topic.

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